Transformed by Trouble

This chapter in a Purpose Driven Life is really getting to me as I am in a time of trouble. I have had hormonal imbalance issues for a few years now. About 2 years ago I started the biodentical hormone treatment with my OB and last year made the move to a more versed doctor in biodentical hormones but alas my hormones are still changing. They have told me I have one foot in the door of menapaus and one still back in permimenapause. It definitely has changed in this last year as my peroids have almost been non-exsistent and I think they may actually go away completely if I didn't take the hormones I do take. The problem is the balance of what I am taking and what might body may or may not be producing is working. I have gone back to getting headaches, naseau and mood swings and throw in some other lesser known symptoms like gum issues, joint pain and bladder control. It's just been a roller coaster ride and I want to get off this roller coaster. It's been a total excuse of mine for so long now and I am so wanting to feel normal again with a clear mind and no more negative thinking and some of those really negative thoughts and images my imagination is producing. So this chapter is about looking beyond your trouble to the end result which is an eternity with Christ in heaven. Okay, I have actually been really ready for that to happen at some times lately. I have never been so negative in all my life. So, I want to do what this chapter is saying by looking to Christ and the light at the end of this dark tunnel I am in. Everything it says is for God's purpose, yes, even and most especially the troubles we face. I have been facing this for so long now and so I am asking you Lord, what are you trying to teach me in this? Patience? I would have more if my hormones were regulated! Okay, that is the hormones talking. I am to the point that maybe I need to trust God with this and just go off the hormone supplements and maybe get a blood work up done in a couple months after being off hormones to see exactly what my body is doing by itself? It doesn't sound very pleasant but than again it hasn't been pleasant anyways. Am I up for it getting possibly worse? Ugh. I just don't know what to do? I am asking you Lord to help guide me and tell me the course I should take. I want to trust in you completely and let you be my healer. As it says in this chapter, When you have been refined by trials, people can see Jesus' reflection in you. I want to be a reflection of Jesus. Lord, help me to get through this trial and be refind.