Faithbooking Ministry in Planning Stage

I have been pondering this idea for it seems like years but since The Angel Company went under and left me hanging, God has really put it on my heart to work on this project and get it going. I have done several scrapbook pages that relate to a sermon, a Christian speaker or something like that but now I am working on seeing how challenging it would be to do a scrapbook page layout each week based on the sermon at church. I decided to go for the challenge since we had a new sermon series starting. I did one scrapbook page on the final sermon in the last series about Elijah and the whole concept of if your faith is wavering or if you are committed. The new series is on the book of Matthew and begun with a sermon about John the Baptist and how he paved the way for Jesus. Because of the on-line scrapbooking program called Studio J from the new company I am now a consultant for Close to My Heart, I have been able to easily get these pages done. On the way home from church is the perfect time to think about how what I just heard from the sermon applies to my life. Jesus used analagies quite often to help us understand concepts and so I am following Jesus' example and looking for analogies within my own life that speak about the concept from the sermon. It is so working out awesome! If you open your heart and starting thinking of the photos over the last year and things you have done in your life, it really is easy to come up with something that symbolizes that concept for the week. I will continue to work on this weekly sermon scrapbooking project and am jotting down ideas on what to do with the faithbooking ministry. I have considered doing it on Meetup.com since it can make a good communication tool but it has a cost to it so I am thinking more along the lines of creating a new blog for this ministry and creating an email distribution list to keep anyone that wants to participate in this ministry in the loop on what is going on. I just got an email from Faithfully Yours which is another well established faithbooking ministry that is looking for affilates so I will look into that. I would love any thoughts anyone has on this idea to help people connect the Word with their life through scrapbooking and help Christians connect with each other through scrapbooking.

Fearless is next on the Agenda of Life

I have begun a bible study called Fearless by Max Lucado. These are just some thoughts on the questions so far that are asked for chapter one. I think this is going to be the bible study of all bible studies for me. I think becoming fearless is what I want to be. Read on and let your thoughts take you to what fears are in your life and how you too can start conquering them.

What a Life without fear looks like to me. Without fear, I see and feel a confidence in myself. I can do and be all things that God wants me to be. I can go to the bus stop and not worry that I don’t seem to be meshing with any of the moms there. I can go to work and not wonder how come I don’t have that friendship connection that everyone else seems to have with someone else. I can come home after a long day at work and not be afraid of just being myself, even if it is cranky and tired. I can be the wife I want to be without all the worries that I am never doing anything right. I can be the mother to my children that isn’t afraid to let them grow up and isn’t afraid that one day there mother won’t be here anymore and what will that be like for them. Letting go of all that fear and probably more that is un-named would be complete freedom and peace. Instead of fear, there would be love and peace and trust. What am I more prone to… dread of failure, rejection or calamity? All of the above, I say. I fear failing as a wife and mother on a daily basis. I fear the rejection of other women because I can’t seem to find the connection. I fear driving off a bridge into oblivion and leaving my children behind too soon. I fear what the world is doing around me and how I can keep myself and my family out of it. I am prone to all three. Fear is eating at me and I am done with it.
Getting on board with Christ into a ship that will be caught in a storm. Hmmm. Sounds scary but in order to gain the freedom and peace of life without fear I will have to get into the boat and be willing to get wet. I will have the one and only Lord of Heaven beside me who will protect me and keep me from falling overboard and drowning in life’s storms. There is no such thing as life without storms but we are impatient people by nature, I believe, so we hope for something better and expect it now and many of us will want to believe that just by believing in Christ that suddenly those storms will never come again. We have to be patient and trust in the Lord to get us through these storms. He is growing us through these storms into something a little more worthy and pure, a little more holy and just. Like a flower caught out in a storm, it thrashes about in the wind, maybe even looses a petal or two or three but it is rooted well in Christ so it comes out of the storm and grows into more than it ever was before.
Fear corrodes our confidence not only in ourselves but in God. How could He let this or that happen? If He loved us, He would have stopped it from happening, etc, etc. You hear those questions all the time from people especially after something bad happens. But God loves us more than we can even comprehend and his goodness is far more than we could even fathom and because of this without a full trust and faith in God the fears that we will experience in our fallen world will eat away at that trust and faith and corrode our confidence in who and what the one and only God is.
The opposite of fear is courage and confidence. So, if we are letting fear creep in, we are chiseling away at our faith in God and without that faith we are feeling unloved, worthless and dejected. It’s hard to be loving and generous to others when we are so consumed by our own fears of being loved and worthy. We have to believe that the love of God is enough. If we let go of those fears and believe how much we are loved by God than we will be more able to love and give in return.
I have fear of my own self. That is my biggest fear. As I read about the story of You are Special being read to children in China and how they all cried because they live in a culture where they are from the get-go rejected because of who they are and how they were made. I cried right along with them. My biggest fear is rejection, not fitting in, that who I am isn’t good enough. I have and always will be full of ideas to do something awesome but it’s the fear of who I am that is keeping me from taking these ideas and running with them.
Don’t be afraid. He says it again and again in the bible. Jesus is trying to make a point here. We will be constantly bombarded with fears in this world that belongs to the devil because he will take any seed of fear and make it grow if he can because he knows it keeps us from growing more in Christ and therefore becoming better soldiers in the war for human souls. Jesus wants us to realize that fear will take us away from him. It’s like a brick wall is being built up between me and Jesus every time a fear of something clouds my focus on Him and who he is. The wall is getting bigger and fears are taking over. I am taking down those bricks one by one if necessary so I can clearly focus on my King and be the soldier and person he knows I can be.
Conquering fear… It takes faith and courage… Believing that you are loved beyond measure, that your value is priceless and that you are capable of all things thru Christ. I have to stop using the excuses that the devil has used to build up my wall between me and Christ. No more excuses. No more of “my personality is just so rare, it is harder to find connections”. No more I can’t think of things to say so I am not very good at this relationship stuff. No more I am getting old and my hormones are controlling me and how I react to the world and the people I love. No More! Satan be away from me!!

Wavering or Committed?

We have been studying the book of Elijah over the summer and the final sermon on it was yesterday. The phrase from a song often sung in church keeps coming back into my head, "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back". In the final story of Elijah, he is going to be taken to Heaven. Now, I don't think he actually realizes or knows for certain that literally his body and soul go up to heaven but his apprentice Elisha is confronted with this that his "Father figure" of Elijha is going to die and so 3 times he is told to leave by Elijha. Singleton says it was a test and he passed with flying colors. Literally, he got to see Elijah taken up into Heaven by a chariot of fire. Wow! Singleton brings up others in the bible whose committment to another has been tested. Ruth and Naomi. Ruth passed with flying colors too and she ended up being in the direct ancestry line of Jesus. Peter was tested three times when the cock crowed but as we know, he failed miserably. In thinking about this idea of wavering vs being committed to Jesus, I came up with three things that are an example of this concept within my own life. The first one was in plain site. When I pondered on the word committment, the first thing that came to my mind was my daughter Faith and her love for cats. She really is committed in her love for them or obessed if you want to call it that. But the fact remains, she never wavers in her love for all things cats. So a picture of her and her many cats will have to be on a faithbooking page. Another thing came to my mind, this morning as I lay in bed contemplating this concept and hearing that song in my head. The idea of wavering vs. committment is like a camera that can't get in focus. The camera operator has to manually make it focus on the object which is Jesus. So, of course, I thought of the many times I have taken a picture of a card creation of mine and it was out of focus and I had to make sure that it was in focus the second time around. The last thing that came to my mind before I figured it was time to get out of bed and get it all in writing before my memory wiped it away was how this past week the sermon from last week dwindle away to nothing until again I turned my focus back on Jesus when we watched the sermon from home yesterday because I was recovering from a stomach bug. I have this idea to faithbook each sermon for that very reason so I can keep my focus/committment not just on Sunday but everyday. I can be working on the sermon project or in the word, doing a bible study, something that gets me thinking about the Lord. Praying I do but I am talking about learning and growing and that takes active thinking which requires something from somewhere else for us to ponder on. Boy, have I been pondering since the sermon yesterday... I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.

God is calling...

I have been pondering the idea of starting a faithbooking ministry for quite some time but haven't had the kick in the behind to get me moving on it until now. With The Angel Company closing this week, I have found myself without a home business to have over me as I do my creative endevours. So, on the way to church today, I was thinking of the faithbooking ministry again and wondering if I could possibly turn it into a bible study that goes along with the sermon series bible studies my church began doing this year. It's such a great concept to take the sermon and get in groups and discuss further and dig more into it the scripture but I have been thinking of trying to take it to the hands-on creative level and utilize scrapbooking about the passage for the week. It is a challenge I am going to put myself to in this next sermon series on my own to see what scrapbook pages I come up with and how easy or difficult it is or might be for others who will hopefully join me in doing this in the future sermon series. So, I started off by as usual taking notes during the sermon. I thought of some ideas on the way home and knew I had to get them written down or they would be gone and I would be back at square one. So, I summarized the bible story in my own words and wrote some more notes on what the pastor said about this story. I figured out an analogy of the main points the pastor made about this story by using something in my own life. It started with the phrase purify my heart from one of the songs we sang today and a picture of the awesome waterfall we hiked to and saw in Glenwood Springs at Hanging Lake came to mind. I have the pictures now in mind to use in the scrapbook page and a way that it has connected to my life. Will I remember it more? I hope it will ground in me more but the good news is I will have the scrapbook page to look to and share with other and hand down to my children so they to can learn from it. So, it begins. I will be back with a picture of it and of course be back next Sunday with the next installment of Project Faithbooking.

God Really Does Take Care of Everything We Need

So, this concept of God taking care of our every need has been on my mind lately since I got the word about my one and only scrapbook customer whom I have been making 10 pages a month for is ready to do her scrapbook pages herself. Ouch, there goes $150 a month. I knew going into it that it wouldn't last forever and thankfully lasted over 2 years but now I am back to thinking how is that going to effect the budget. Thankfully, my first next thought is that God will take care of everything so I will just "deal". It has made me think of the scripture that says that if God takes care of the trees, grass and flowers how much more will he take care of you? So, I look out the kitchen window a day ago and see in the corner where I planted 3 rose bushes a few years ago and haven't touched them since. Yeah, my thumb isn't all that green and my extra time goes elsewhere so what is so darn awesome is that dispite my lack of care for these rose bushes, I am pleansantly surprised every year to see at least one of them out there with a big beautiful blossom on it. Gotta get out there and take a photo this time!!! So, what's even funnier is that I bought about $20 of annuals this year on a shopping trip with Faith and they never got planted. They all died within a day or so and we didn't get around to planting or watering them. Sad... But, I just was leaving for work yesterday and saw in one of the pots a flower growing and it is not a weed! Again, God is giving me flowers even when I can't seem to get my act together help with their care. Thank you God for the gift of the flowers and for showing me again and again how much you are caring for our every need.

Let Go and Let God Guide

That has been in my head since yesterday when I read my Daily Word for Women devotional. Why do things always seem easy but they are more challenging when you try to do them. The good news is it's a new day and I can start all over again and try to just let God guide me through my day. What does that look like to me? I think letting go of the worries, fears and wonder what will happens and also looking to God for all decisions even the small stuff but we are so use to going it alone and doing it our way that it is hard to always ever time being looking to my one and only everything for guidance. Try, try, try and keeping trying is all we can do. So, off I go to try to let God guide me through my day.

Being intentional is very very challenging

I am still struggling with how to be more intentional with bringing the Lord more into my life and making Him be the central part of my life. Dealing with issues with life, especially when it comes to your kids is time consuming and exhausting. I started to try to be more intentional by putting my bible right at my spot at the kitchen table that way I can read it as I have breakfast. I also thought I need to get my prayer cards going again. I started these by reading the bible and choosing something that just stood out and writing it down on an index card and writing a prayer that goes with that scripture. I have taken these to work to read throughout my day when my Outlook reminds me. LOL. I very much like doing those and it does help to stop for just a minute and read a prayer card and just let go of the work at hand and think about God. I am working on our family bedtime prayer at night to not be the standard stuff we pray for all the time but to add in at least one thing related to praying for someone else or our country or anything out of the norm. I have been considering what I can do for children but still am not sure on that one. I do think that I will sponsor a child through Compassion but I want to also look into other possibilities like Big Brothers Big Sisters and possibly a ministry that helps with young women faced with making the choice of life or abortion and/or helping children in divorced families. Those are two that are very close to my heart since I experienced them both. I am reading AD Cronicles by Brodie and Brock Thoene and am loving the whole idea seeing what the bigger picture is. These books are set in the time of Jesus and the stories are about his life here through the eyes of others around him. The first one is about the blind man that Jesus puts clay on his eyes and says go wash in the pool and he can see. He was blind from birth so this is super miraculous! Another one centers around Lazarus and how he ends up sick and dead and of course, the part we already know from the bible about Jesus raising him from the dead. The one I am reading now is about before Jesus' birth and it's about Mary and Joseph and their thoughts, feeling and things that happen on their journey with being chosen to be the mother and step-father to the son of God. I am really loving these books because it makes the bible seem so much more real and I am learning so much more about the culture and times of Jesus which makes understanding the bible that much easier. I have only read 4 books so far of I think a 10 book series. I guess you can say reading these is keeping the Lord in the forefront of my mind more because the stories are about and surrounding Jesus. So, I am making progress in being more intentional about my faith but I have to tell you it is and will continue to be a daily challenge. I will keep praying for the Lord to guide me. My hope is you too will let the Lord guide you.

On being an intentional Christian

It seems like again and again I am hearing and re-learning that being a Christian isn't just about taking that first step and believing that Jesus is the son of God and asking for forgiveness. We are hard-wired to have this desire within us to draw closer to our creator but in order to do that we have to become intentional Christians. We have to plan, prepare and prioritize how we live our lives so that we are doing, thinking and being in every way more like Christ, our Eartly example of who God is. Jesus is holy, selfless, loving, humble, zealous and more. For us to drawer nearer to God we have to strive to be more like Jesus and be more God-like. The seed of the Holy Spirit was planted in us when we made that decision to believe but we have to take the next step and the next and the next. Everyday it is a challenge to put the focus on God and being intentional in cultivating that relationship and therefore feeling his presense in our lives more. The fabulous thing is God is always right here, right now with us but we don't often feel it. We have to be active participants in this relationship through prayer, praise, worship, song, study, fellowship and whatever creative way you can come up with to spend more time with God. Before starting work full-time a couple of years ago, I really enjoyed my one hour class a week called Holy Yoga. What a wonderful creative way to worship the Lord and get in some good exercise in and respecting the body he gave us. I am working on finding a yoga class that works in my schedule but it won't be the same but it will get me going again and I will be more likely to be motivated to do it at home too like I was before. I have also loved working on scrapbook pages that are geared around a sermon, book, scripture or something that puts my focus on God. I think the hardest part is there are many ways we could be more intentional and doing more of those next steps but they are often inconsistent. I start reading my bible for a couple of days in the morning and than one morning I am struggling to just wake up or I have too many other things on my mind that need attention so they get it first and reading the bible doesn't happen. Priorty is the key to consistency. I have good intentions but have not made them a priority. I have to give myself some grace and plan it right this time. I can't change everything today but I can take one piece of my puzzle of my life with God and starting fitting it in to the space it should go. I am going to ponder all my thoughts today and come back tomorrow and make a more detailed list on ways I can be more intentional and than I will choose to set my goal on prioritizing on the one and getting that consistent like breathing. So what do you intend to do today that will draw you closer to God?

On Reading Christian Fiction

I have been reading a book series called AD Chronicles by Brodie & Brock Thoene. These books are fictional stories based on the time of Jesus' ministry on Earth and some of the people we know of by name in the bible like Mary, Martha and their brother Lazarus and many that aren't called specifically by name like the blind man that Jesus put mud on his eyes and told him to go wash in the pool. In reading these stories, you realize how much more is involved in and around the stories in the bible. There really just isn't enough room to put in all the details surrounding everything in the bible. It is a pretty thick book as it is! I have no idea of any of these fictional stories could be possibly based on any true stories except for the aspects that we know of in the bible like when Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead but it's interesting how the authors helped develop a plausible story that lead up to the story in the bible of Lazarus. I have always considered my imagination to be pretty good but I wouldn't have thought of that so I think a lot of the stories are also based on the culture of the time and just how things were done, etc which is all historical stuff that I don't really know except when I hear it from a pastor in a sermon. I am reading a story now about a leper who was cast out for leparosy when she was 12 years old. I think one of the neat things about these stories is putting yourself in their position and getting a better feel for how much suffering others have gone through. It does make you count your own blessings. Lepers were considering the living dead and were totally cast out from society, stoned if they came near and just the most rejected people ever. It's really not fully imaginable to put yourself in their shoes since we do not have to deal with leporacy today as they did in their time. I am thankful to live in a time with better healthcare and better understanding of sickness. I just pray that if there are any people out there living like the living dead that they will find comfort and peace through a relationship with the Lord and know that this life is temporary and their future life in heaven will be so much more. Blessings to all who read this today. Have a great one.

Jesus Loves the Little Children

We have been having a serious of sermons at church recently on Jesus and Children. He wants us to have faith like a child. There have been three points that have come up within these sermons that are the most important to remember and grow with. First, we have to trust like a child trusts. A child will just trust. They are dependent on their parents and so to we need to be dependent on God and trust fully in Him. The second point is that we need to live in the present like a child does. Children don't fret about the past or worry about the future. Those things tend to come with more age and responsiblity but we have to learn to not be always focused on the past or the future but looking at what is happening and what we have today. The third point is how well a child receives love. They don't over anaylzye it, evaluate it or question it. They just except the love given to them. Adults have a harder time with this as we have put up barriers because of past experiences, our personality, etc. We have to continually be praying to our Father and opening our hearts to receive his love. Don't let the things of this world lead you away from the One who loves you without failing and will love you always no matter what. I really loved the visual that the paster gave in the sermon yesterday with this statement, "All is well when we're holding the Master's hand". We are God's children and we need to be like children and reaching for his hand to hold as we walk along through our journey in life.

Alive to God's Desire

I was thinking about our sermon series bible study. The title/phrase that the church is calling it is Alive to God’s desire. In this weeks study questions, it asked what is God’s desire and what does it mean to be alive to God’s desire. I knew that God’s desire has and will always be that each and everyone one of us, the good, the bad and the ugly, all of us; he wants us to love him back. I thought of that in bed this morning before getting up and tears came to my eyes because I felt so much how similar we really are to God. He made us in his image. I have pondered that and really didn’t grasp what that meant but I believe it all has to do with love. God made us because he loves us and wants to be in a relationship with us. We are SO the same. The greatest need in all of us is to be loved and to love. The world and the sin in it, I think truly hold us back from our full potential to love that God has given each of us. He just wants us to love him back. Tears…. So how does this desire of God’s make me alive. I so want to tell everyone! It’s that simple. God just wants us to love him back. So, it’s our call as believers to help in this cause. We have to fight the sin and the devil at work in our world and overcome so that more and more people can see the truth that all God ever wanted was us to love him back.

Ephesians 2:1-10

I've got an action item I need to create based on our study of Ephesians chapter one from last week. Our study group discussed the lost art of letter writing. Of course, after the discussion, the next day I realized why letter writing is so much more then what you get in an email or especially on Facebook, etc. Letter writing is really much more in-depth which is much more likely to ellicit emotions from the reader. These emotions are what keep us connected not the short here's what I had for breakfast junk you see on Facebook. So, my action item is to start a letter writing campaign. I am going to try to get a letter written to someone once a month and I will be doing more updates, thoughts and feelings emails to the grandparents. I feel disconnected from my parents so I can imagine my kids probably don't feel so connected with them either.
This week's lesson was on the beginning of chapter two and had much to do about grace. The sermon Jim Singleton preached on it was very passionate. He had a coffin out as his "big prop". This is your funeral he said. I already have a good fondation on this concept of what Christ did for us but sacrificing himself on the cross he brought us back to being Alive! We are all dead. It's a spiritual dead but that means when your body dies you won't be going to heaven to live forever. "Dead! We are all dead!",he said. But thankfully we have good news, because of God's great love for us and Jesus' death on the cross we are brougth back out of death into life in the light with Christ. The things that most stood out to me on this sermon were the phrase dead man walking. Most people out there are dead men and women walking. The other word that captured my attention was the word desparate in this quote Jim gave "Salvation is not for the well-meaning but for the desperate. I so remember the time before I came to truley know and accept Jesus when I was in an emotional state of desperation. I was at rock bottom with how to deal with not getting pregnant and the abortions of my past. I had always justified my abortions but finally changed my feelings about that because of the desperation. I needed the forgiveness that only through Jesus anyone can have. Realizing that what I did was a sin was the first step into my new life. So, are there things in your past you are rationalizing. Are you living in denial of what you have done? I thank God for leading me back to him and helping me to understand what I did was wrong but through Jesus I am forgiven and am now ALIVE!

Figured it Out

Okay, so I was driving home last night and it came to me how we were chosen but we have free will thing. God chose all of us, all of mankind. He loves us all, each and everyone of us. He made the choice to send Jesus, his only son to Earth so that our sins attoned for by his death. He made the ultimate sacrifice watching his only son tortured and death on a cross. He chose us! It's up to us to use our own free will to choose him. He loves us but wants us to have the free will to make our own choice. It's all pretty clear now and it will be interesting to see how my pastor explains it and if I am even close to be correct about this.
That word choice seems to have been coming up a lot in my life lately. Maybe I am clearly seeing for the first time how much we can change ourselves simply by deciding to make the right choices. I have for too many moons been using excuses like it's my hormones or whatever but the truth is everything we do is a choice and God gives us the power to not only make that choice but live up to it. I may be grumpy from hormonal imbalance but I can choose to not be grumpy and call on my God to help me ungrumpify. I think you have to come to a place where you realize you need help in pretty much everything and God is the only one out there that will consistently be there and guide you. Choices. What can I choose to do today that would be a reflection of God? I will start by choosing to be positive and have a kindhearted, caring and patient attitude with my children, my co-workers, my husband and my friends. What choice will you make today to bring glory to God?

Waterfall of Blessings

We are starting a sermon series and bible study based on the book of Ephesians. Our first sermon was on Sunday. We are given a "waterfall of blessings". There are 8 gifts based on Ephesians chapter 1. #1 He chose us. This one is a little intriguiging because what about the whole free will thing. Our paster plans on digging more into that in future sermons so I will be waiting to see what he says about that one. #2 We are predestined to be adopted children of God. Apparently the Romans consider any adopted child to get the full rights and everything as a natural child. So, it's the same for us. We are adoopted by God and get all these spiritual blessings because of it. #3. We are favored by God. He explained how in Ephesus they worshipped the goddess Artemis and you had to do a whole lot to be in her favor. We don't have to do anything. #4 Redemption. I like the word ensnared he used. We are ensnared by sin but the blood of Jesus Christ released us from this bondage with sin. #5 Forgiveness. #6 Lavished with Grace. #7 Mystery of his Will #8 Marked by the seal of the Holy Spirit. He plans on digging into these last ones in future sermons. I really liked his story about the 1/2 head of lettuce. A lady wanted to buy a half a head of lettuce. The produce clerk was new and went to his boss, the lady followed but he didn't know it. He says to his boss, "This old bag wants to buy a half a head of lettuce. The boss is horrified. The produce clerk realizes somethings up and turns to see the lady and says with very quick thinking, and this nice lady wants to buy the other half. There was more to the story and the produce clerk was quick thinking again. Quick thinking was the theme surrounding this lesson. I am still not sure how the quick thinking applies to this stuff in scripture except that maybe we should know all these gifts we are given so we can quickly be able to answer questions of non-believers? He also gave a story about Christmas presents and how his 2 year old newphew opened the first present and was so engrossed in it he forgot all about the other presents. Okay, that would not happen in my family but I do see his point. He says we have been given all these gifts but we haven't necessarily opened them all. I think I have opened them all but I also think that you have to open these gifts everyday so you can be reminded and keep all these wonderful gifts we are given in the front of your mind.
This is going to be a very interesting series. Have you opened all these gifts?

Thankful Thankful Thankful

1. for a God who loves me not matter what.
2. for my husband whom I love.
3. for my kids who bring me so much joy. Thanks to Tristan for making the beer bread last night per my instructions. Very impressed that you listened and followed through.

Lesson Learned

Little did I know that after reading about the cracked pot I would be using that visual to help me work through the next difficult challenge that came into my path. I got a scathing email from a board member with my networking group. Being the President, I guess the buck stops with me. It was never my intention to continue being president of the group for another year but nobody else was stepping up to the plate and I didn't want all my hard work over the last year to be wasted and the group fall apart. But leadership is tough and it's even harder when you work full time and have a family and life that you have to keep in balance. In hindsight I can see how she may have felt the way she did but I emailed her back with an apology, another attempt at explaining why decisions were made and to ask for her forgiveness. I was very angry after reading it at first. I was ready to just quit! But I took Faith swimming at the YMCA and distracted myself with a good book and prayed a little prayer that God would work on my heart to let this go and be forgiving for this email that basically critized my leadership ability. I have been struggling with this negative thinking track and I didn't want to let this issue get me back to that. God heard me. She emailed back simply that I was forgiven and thanks for the grace. I don't know maybe she felt bad for sending the email in hindsight. In any case, I had my first real lesson in loving someone you don't want to love, in letting go of judgement and just extending grace and love back. I don't know how I will feel when I am face to face with her possibly next week at our networking dinner meeting but I will be praying that God will prepare me to keep the positive thinking going and keep that visual of the cracked pot. I am not perfect. I have flaws but I have a sneaking suspision that God will use this for something good. Amen to that.

I am a cracked pot!

That's what it said in my devotion this morning. We are all like clay pots which always have cracks in them. Not perfect by any means. But God shines through the cracks using our imperfections for his glory. Wow, that is just an amazing visual for me. I went a step further and decided to create an alarm on my I-phone to remind me I am a cracked pot. I will have to create more of these reminders on my phone. That's really what we all need everyday is someone or something reminding us of how loved we are by God and how we are gifted and talented and God uses us for his good purposes. I say that phrase, "I am a cracked pot" and it makes me smile. Everyone needs to consider themselves cracked pots and we would all be smiling and feeling how valuable we are to God. My positive track is going pretty well. I have sent off one thinking of you card and have two more ready to go. It does make you feel good to write just a little something to someone and I would hope a good feeling will be received by the recipient. I have to get to making more cards. I am thanking God for giving me a more postive outlook and attitude about everything and thank my hubbie for getting The Bachelor Season Premier ready to watch last night for me. What an awesome surprise that was! I think we all need to do new year's resolutions once a month not once a year!! I still need to get my memory verse picked out. Got to check my alarm on that. Thought I set one? hmm.... Speaking of alarm... my lunch break is over. Hope you feel like cracked pots in the days and years ahead.

Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do.

So, I made an error in judgement last night at my networking board meeting and brought up some things said to me by another member. I ended up waking up with this nightmare about the lady finding out and being horribly angry. Funny it was, because it had the actor from Grey's Antaomy that plays the ex-army doctor and he's always angry and trying to protect his new wife on the show. He was the one delivering the message to me about my friends anger. Ugh. Needless to say, I couldn't get back to sleep. I was in turmoil over what I had done. In hindsight, I could have left her name out of it. Duh. I even went so far as to get up and go write an email to one of the ladies who was courageous enough to put up her hand last night and try to stop me from going further in "gossip". Funny again, the email came back undelieverable. I finally managed to get back to sleep out on the couch and woke feeling a little better. I think my mind and heart finally were working together and I was accepting the fact that I am forgiven. Let it go and move on and try not to do this kind of thing again. Forgiveness is never easy but I think we are always hardest on ourselves but there are many songs out there that I have been hearing that remind me that I am forgiven. It's all about grace. I asked God to forgive me and he did so now I am moving on and hopefully will grow.

A New Year and lots of goals!

Too much time goes by before I get myself back on my blog to record my thoughts and feelings about things. In the sermon at church yesterday, the pastor talked about Joseph and his side of the story. Not alot is known about him but the pastor focused on these three major things about Joseph. He was the one to give Jesus his name. According to the pastor, women were the ones to name the baby. Jesus name means the Lord of Salvation. Wow, didn't know that one. There is a lot to what you are named. Joseph also was a righteous man which wasn't too common. Being righteous is being in a right relationship with God. Joseph was also obedient. The angel told him what to do and he did it. The pastor said something that in particular stood out to me, "we have to create a pattern of obedience". That keeps coming into my mind especially with this new year. The new year you always want to start something to improve who you are. This may seem so trivial but last year after seeing the dentist in January and hearing once again you must floss, I finally made the choice to committ myself to flossing everyday and you know what I only missed one day in the whole rest of the year! Everything is about a choice so now I am making another choice to get on my blog everyday and write. Get it out! Help myself process feelings or figure out things. They say journaling is very good for this among other things so this is it. I am making the choice to come and write everyday. I have to create a pattern. I think I will do it at my lunch hour when my brain is still working and not pooped out. So, what will you choose to start this new year to better yourself?