So much to learn!!

I read the next part in my Beth Moore bible study this morning. It was about not letting false prophets in and how we are to be not trying to win the approval of men but of God. The key to avoiding falling for any false prophets is to not be ingnorant. Get in your bible and read, read, read. The more you are soaking up the "truth" the less likely you will be prey to any evil trying to turn you towards something else or the more subtle ones that will try to plant seeds of doubt. Know the truth! The last part has had me wondering all morning. From Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Okay, this is a major motivation check. Are the things I do motivated to serve God or to please my friends, family, co-workers? I know that I do like the attention I get when I am within a group of people and I don't feel a part of it or connected if I am not the center of attention. Wow, I am going to have to let that go. It's not about ME!!! How do I get that through my thick skull! At this point, I think I just have to try everything I can to keep my focus on the Lord and pray, pray, pray. I am sure with time and patience God will get through my thick skull and help me to be more like Christ. My lunch break is over but I have more to write. I read Transformed by Trouble in A Purpose Driven Life. Wow, I have re-read that chapter like 4 times already. It has got some serious stuff in there. I will be back tomorrow and get with you more on this chapter. Until tomorrow...

It always seems to come back to love.

My mind has been in a funk that last few days. Being away from home takes me away from my routine and my own things. Everything gets thrown off and when you are not prepared fully for this it just makes life one big ball of negativity. I have been stuck in the pit of negativity for too many days. I know my hormones play alot into it but I am tired of using that excuse. I want to get out of it and get back to the real me. So, it feels good to wake up and get into my bible and bible study and have a somewhat clearer mind. I know I already read chapter two in my bible study but never got around to thinking enough on it and getting up on here to write anything. So, maybe it was good to read it again. This first part I have read again is about the 4 reasons why Christ died for us. 1. to rescue us from evil 2. because it was his Father's will 3. to bring us to His Father 4. because he loves us. I looked at these four reasons and thought the one reason that really binds them all together is Jesus loves his Father. I think once again God is showing me how love is the key to it all. Love for Him. If we are truly loving him, we are obeying Him and loving others as he loves them. After being around family and circumstances I am not liking its kind of pathetic how I demonstrate my love for our Father. I clearly have room for improvement. I have been so judgemental lately and that is definitely not the real me. I have been sucked in by my hormonal issues to the point of awfulness. I don't want to be the judge. I want to be like Jesus and love, love, love like the song. So, again I am so thankful to God for his Grace because I am sorely in need of it and I am also thankful for his guidance in leading me back on the path of growth and love. I am also thankful for my family despite all our faults and issues I am grateful for each and everyone of them. I pray for a positive day and that I can begin to let the love shine.

Gratitude x 3

Yesterday was a tough day for me. Starting about 7:30am I was feeling nasuea all day long. It's a hormonal thing. What else? I had a really hard time focusing on my work and tried to read my bible but finally stopped because I knew it wasn't sinking in at all. I just felt too awful. So, I am thankful for days when I am hormonal imbalance symtom free. Yes, I do have them from time to time or at least for the most part it feels like it. I am also thankful for the essential oils that I got back towards the beginning of this year, I think. The peppermint was great when I was getting my migraines. Yesterday, I googled about naseua and menapause and it was suggested to try peppermint or chamomile tea and that got me thinking about my essential oils. Turns out I have one called Digesten which is a combo of peppermint, ginger, etc. that is to help with digestive issues including nasuea. I rubbed some on my tummy and I did start feeling better. It's no cure but I am thankful for something to help me cope with this nasuea. I am also thankful to God for just being with me and helping me along on through these tough times with my health. I know things could be so much worse and have to stay positive in the face of it all.

Worrying too much about what other people think!

The second chapter in my bible study is about not seeking the approval of man. Gal 1:10. I think part of my confidence issue is that I worry too much of what others think of me. It's not like I am constantly wondering what people think but I do know that it comes up in my brain a little too often. So, how do I stop this worry talk in my head. I make the choice each day to not let what others may or may not think influence me in any way. The only one that matters is God. I have to ask myself throughout each day Am I doing or saying this for God? I will have to make it a goal to say this to myself everyday and hear myself answering back with honesty yes I am doing or saying this for God not because it would make me look better or smarter or nicer or whatever anyone else might think. What others think of me does not matter. God is my one and only judge and the only one I need to hold myself accountable to. This will be more critical in those times where I am around lots of people like at a family function or at a networking dinner meeting. The goal is not to make myself look good to these people but to show them what God is and can do for them in their lives. I think I am going to make scrapbook page about this one that I can put on my wall to help remind me of my goal and that it's only about God, not me, not others, God. I do fear this will be a tough one to conquer as I think I have worried too much for so long about what others think and the truth is if I really knew what people thought of me maybe I wouldn't worry about it. I have had glimpes of that throughout my life of what other really thought of me and I should be happy and proud of myself and also grateful to God for blessing me with good looks and a passionate heart. Always a work in progress.

Forgiveness within Community

Our church has been doing a series of sermons on Community this fall. It's been a very good series in learning how we should be with one another. Today was specifically about forgiveness within our community. I found myself thinking I am not really as good at forgiving as I was giving myself credit to be. There really is always room for growth. It was said that we really do have to look at the little things. The pastor gave a few examples of how with words just one letter difference in a word can completely change its meaning as in Wandering the Desert vs. Wandering the Dessert. So, little things can make a big difference. I think its the little things that I have not been so forgiving about like the slow driver on I-25 doing 55 mph in a 75mph zone. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhnoying!But if I am to grow with my forgiving I have to let got of those little things and work on it being completely who I am. Freely given, unceasing and untiring forgiveness for everyone. I really like the scripture that was used for this sermon. Colossians 3:12-17 I especially like the clothing ourselves part as I thought I could put this into action by thinking of each item of clothing I put on each day as part of the virtues of a forgiving Christian. So, my shirt can be compassion, my pants kindness, humility, my underwear, my gentleness the next layer over my shirt like a vest or jacket and patience can be my socks and shoes. My jewelry can be the love that binds these all together. So, I will type this scripture up and put it in my closet so I can pray each day as I dress about clothing myself as one of God's chosen.

Thoughts on the Parable of the Lost Son

I have heard this story of the lost son who returns home to his father after squandering all the money given to him. As I started to read it I felt like okay I have heard this before and I didn't think anything was going to pop out at me but God is good and something did pop out. I started reading about the other son who had stayed home, obeyed his father and had been living a good life but he became all envious of his lost brother because his father was treating him so well and celebrating because of his return. My first thought was this guy didn't appreciate what he had been given all along and my second thought was he was being judgemental about his brother he hadn't even talked with yet. It occurred to me that when I became a Christian God must have been rejoicing just like this father over his lost son but now that it's been 9 years since I fully accepted Christ into my life that I am now in the position of the son who has been around. My question to myself is how well am I doing when it comes to appreciating all that God has given me and continues to provide me with and how judgemental am I when it comes to seeing other people recieving all the attention and celebration? How many times has the phrase come up during bible study or reading, "it's not about me". God wants us to change our self-centered ways and be focused on him and other people. When we are focused on others than we are doing and loving God. So my new action items will be to write at least 3 things I am thankful for in my journaling and to pray everyday to put my focus on others and God.
1. I am thankful for the gift of dicernment that the Holy Spirit is giving me to help me grow more in my faith and relationship with the Lord.
2. I am thankful for my God who is always faithful in providing for me.
3. I am thankful for my husband who listens and supports me and makes me feel special and loved.
Lord, today is about you and all those whom I come into contact with today. Let me be focused on them and be loving, kind, gentle, a good listener and give me the words and actions that may help bring any lost sheep closer to finding their home with you. Amen.

Influence

So, I got my bible memory verse written on a post it and stuck it to my bathroom mirror. The act of doing that put a smile on my face. Nice! So, I went looking for a bible study by Beth Moore given to me by a dear lady from my church who came to visit me when I was in the hospital before Faith was born over 7 years ago. It's called Living Beyond Yourself-Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. I have written in it so started it but never got through it all. So, I began it again this morning. I only got through the first two pages and decided that was enough to ponder. I have to take what I am given in smaller doses so that I can fully reflect on it and be able to find a way to put it into practice in my own life. So, the word that came out in these first two pages is INFLUENCE. She talks about about how women have a lot of influence throughout history starting with Eve and how there's a fine line between influence and manipulation. I think we can have influence in quiet and gentle ways by just being who we are in Christ and demonstrating to others who Christ is by how we are and how we are living. I have to examine myself each day and pray that I will live with the Spirit and the fruit given to me. The fruits of the spirit should be evident in all we do and say and are. If people were asked to list some character traits of me, I want them to first list all the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. I can honestly say I can't say all of these are part of who I am. I have my moments of inpatience and I have my days of depression and negative thinking and boy do I have plenty of days when I have no self-control. I am SO a work in progress but that is the beauty of it all. We are forgiven for our sins and our failures and are free to learn and grow so that we can be more and more closer to the perfection that is Jesus Christ. My prayer: Holy Spirit, Help our hearts to be gentle and to think before we speak so our influence may be used for your good purpose. Amen.

Preparations

I have been reading from the gospel of Luke. This morning I read chapter 14. I was a bit stumped by the message and had to read it over a few times until my brain really got going but I think the Lord finally got it thru to me. Jesus is talking about being disciples and how we have to give up everything and take up our cross to follow him. He gives two examples about the message, I think he is trying to get across. One is about someone who wants to build a tower and Jesus says won't he sit down and estimate the cost before getting started so he doesn't end up with a half built tower because he runs out of money. The other example is about a King who must go do battle with the enemy. Jesus says, won't he consider how many soldiers he has vs. how many he's going up against and realize he's out-matched so will send out a peace offering. So, in both of these examples it seems they are preparing for what is ahead of them so they will be ready for it. I think that Jesus is trying to say that we too must do the same to be his disciples. We have to prepare ourselves for what may come our way. So, my question now is how do we prepare ourselves to be disciples of Christ? It's funny how my action items that I have written just yesterday and my light bulb moment yesterday reading A Purpose Driven Life are really a big part of what I have read this morning in Luke 14. Prepare. By receiving God's Word, reading it, reflecting on it, remembering it. The more we prepare ourselves through His Word the better we are equipped to be disciples of Christ. Well, that makes a whole lot of sense. It's like a student who has a big test coming up in school. The better prepared you are for it the more equipped you will be and the more success you will have on that test. I want to be successful in my discipleship for Christ. I want to be an instrument for Him that will help others draw closer and having their own relationship with Christ. So, today I will look over my action items and start working on implementation. Our first calling or role in our lives should be as a disciple of Christ. It is something that I will have to pray for help on everyday as life and my other roles as wife, mother, sister, daughter, employee, neighbor, friend, etc. all pull at me. Lord help me to put you first and make my #1 mission each day to be your disciple. Amen.

Memory Verse of the week

Everyone who hears these words of minE and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. MATTHEW 7:24

A Purpose Driven Life

I found myself at work today and during my lunch break found I had forgotten to bring the book I have been reading I got from our church library called Joseph. Good fictional story about Joseph through the eyes of the women throughout his life. Anyways, I wanted something to read while I ate lunch and so I pulled out my copy of A Purpose Driven Life. I read chapter 24 on Transformed by the Truth. The five things we should be doing that will transform us and help us grow in Christ are recieving, reading, researching, remembering and reflecting on God's Word. I recently after a bible study discussion meeting decided I needed to make an effort to get back into reading my bible everyday. So, I have done that but after reading this chapter I can see how much more I can do. I have also recently felt this after worship service on Sunday when I tried to recall what the message was about the next Wednesday and couldn't remember a thing. I have really been missing the boat on reflecting on God's Word so I am doing an action item and will start journaling my thoughts and feelings and questions about my bible readings, bible study and worship message. I am also going to start back my one verse a week to memorize routine. My lunch break is over so I will have to come back to this. I will pick out a verse for this week and write it here. I think I will also start a listing of all the action items I decide to do to help me implement what I am learning from God's word.